A guide to talking Minnesotan, and other

 handy tips for the AGR Conventioneer.

By Scott Whitman

So… you’ve heard the 2002 AGR Convention is in Minnesota, then? And you’re asking yourself, “Is that a good thing?” You bet. For starters it’s a pretty good place to take in some walleye fishing, enjoy some neighborly conversation and maybe even have a little lunch. Maybe even some hot dish and bars if you’re lucky.

So, pack your tackle and prepare to explore “the land of sky-tinted water” August 11 – 14 when you’re in town for the 2002 National AGR Convention. But before you work yourself into a lather, ponder these helpful tips on how to converse with the natives and make yourself fit in. It’s up to you, but we’d recommend it. Could be handy.

How to talk Minnesotan

The following words and phrases are the basic building blocks of all Minnesotan dialog. Howard Mohr, author of the linguistic guide, “How to Talk Minnesotan,” recommends you memorize these phrases until they become second nature:

§          “You bet” – This will get you through most Minnesotan conversations. It sounds agreeable without obligating you to a strong position. Q: “So, warm enough for ya, then?” A: “You bet.”

§          “That’s different” – Used in all cases where an opinion may be implied. If you’re dining with Minnesotans during the AGR Convention and they ask you if you like ketchup on your herring hot dish, you might say, “You bet,” but most likely you’d say, “That’s different.”

§          “Whatever” – Expresses a variety of emotions when “You bet” and “That’s different” simply won’t do the job. Your fishing buddy motors to the middle of the lake before he thinks to tell you, “So, hope you don’t mind, but I decided to buy the warm beer, and I packed you an extra Lutefisk (lye-soaked fish) sandwich.” You reply, “Whatever.”

What to do in “The Cities”

For those of us from places with more cows than people, Minneapolis and Saint Paul are about as much city as you’ll ever need. For those of you from more populous locales, our cities might seem quaint or charming. To Minnesotans, they’re just “The Cities.” That’s not to say there aren’t other great cities in Minnesota (just ask somebody from Duluth, Saint Cloud or Bemidji). But most would agree the Twin Cities is where you go for any sort of excitement that requires more than a boat and a tackle box.

·         Take in a free concert at the Lake Harriet Pavilion.

·         Fish for Muskie at Lake Calhoun, in Minneapolis. So you know, there are 949 lakes in the metro area (22 within the Minneapolis city limits).

·         Play a round of golf at one of the Twin Cities’ many area courses (there are more golfers in Minneapolis than any other city in the country).

·         Float down the Mississippi on a paddleboat cruise.

·         Rent in-line skates in Uptown and glide around Lake of the Isles.

·         Watch a movie under the stars in Loring Park.

·         Catch a drag queen review at the Gay 90s (seriously).

·         Buzz around Lake Minnetonka on a rental jet ski.

·         Get a haircut or massage while watching the Twin Cities’ outdoor professional baseball team, the St. Paul Saints.

Explore “out-state” Minnesota

Minnesota’s wild side is legendary, with 125 state and national parks and forests covering nearly eight million acres. Minnesota actually has more than 15,000 lakes—that’s nearly five thousand square miles under water. No wonder one out of six Minnesotans owns a boat.

So, plan to come a few days early, or stay a few days after (or maybe both) and explore greater Minnesota. We call it “going out-state.” There are dozens of outdoor recreational sites in—and within an hour’s drive—of the Twin Cities. To find the perfect spot for your own Minnesota adventure, visit www.exploreminnesota.com .

AGR Convention schedule and special events

The 2002 convention program was designed to give AGRs from around the country a taste of Minnesota and the great upper Midwest. Through workshops, meetings and off-site tours we plan to provide an exciting environment where you can experience the unique flavor of the Twin Cities and the region’s agricultural industry. Here’s a little preview of the menu:

Sunday, August 11

We kick things off with a “taste of Minnesota” welcome reception—maybe even some hot dish—on the University of Minnesota campus. Brace yourselves for some live Minnesotan-style entertainment.

Monday, August 12

The first day of convention business includes vespers led by fellow brother and Pastor Kevin Woestehoff, special initiation ceremonies and a discussion on the agriculture industry outlook with a panel of national agribusiness leaders including former U.S. Secretary of Agriculture, Bob Bergland; President and CEO of Land O’Lakes, Jack Gherty; and Dean of the University of Minnesota’s College of Agricultural, Food and Environmental Sciences, Dr. Charles Muscoplat. Then we’ll head to the Western suburb of Wayzata, near Lake Minnetonka, to visit and tour the world headquarters of Cargill.

Tuesday, August 13

Our third full day starts with a prayer breakfast led by brothers Pastor Kevin Woestehoff and Loren Kruse. The general session welcomes AGR alumnus and U.S. Congressman from Florida, Adam Putnam. We’ll then head “out-state” for industry tours, including the CF Industries Pine Bend Terminal facility—the largest fertilizer river terminal in the United States, and the Mississippi River Lock and Dam No. 2. Next, you’ll be transported back to the time when Hiawatha Land was first settled to see if you have what it takes to be a Survivor – Alpha Gamma Rho style. You’ll try your hand at shocking, steam thrashing, shingle making and grist milling, and test your skills in the print shop and locker plant. The Survivor event at AGR Village will host regional alumni and conclude with a Taste of Hiawatha Land BBQ and an authentic farm auction.

Wednesday, August 14

The final day of official AGR business includes a morning of “power workshops” focusing on leadership development, then a luncheon with Kerry Preete, U.S. Markets Leader for Monsanto. We’ll wrap everything up with fraternity awards and the AGR Hall of Fame and Auction.

So, you’re planning to join us in Minnesota, then? Just say, “You bet,” and contact the national AGR office to register today. We’ll see you in August, then. And don’t forget your tackle box.

Register today for your Minnesota AGR adventure

For registration materials and information on the 2002 AGR Convention in Minnesota, call the national AGR office at (816) 891-9200, or send email to agr@AlphaGammaRho.org.

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